Myth #6: The Most Important Sexual Relationship

 Hi men, my name is Dr. Stephen de Wit and I’m a sexologist and today we’re busting male sexual myths on sexual relationships. So one of the myths that I hear a lot is that the most important sexual relationship is the one that you have with your partner. Now you may be sitting there and saying “ Yeah duh Stephen of course it is”, but i’m going to challenge you and say it’s not.


The most important sexual relationship is the one that you have with yourself. Sex happens between your ear before it happens between your legs. Now just take a moment to think about it. When you’re going into a sexual situation or you’re in a sexual situation, most of us are up in our heads. We’re thinking about oh my goodness is it going to be good, is this going to work, are they going to like this? Is it going to be pleasurable?

All this kind of stuff that’s happening and you may think about, you know, some of the times when you’re not in a sexual space. How do you relate to yourself sexually? Do you relate yourself as confident and competent? Or are you really hard on yourself? Do you worry? Is there shame? Is there guilt? Is there fear? That speaks to the relationship that you have with yourself and that’s the most important one to work on. If you want to have amazing transcendental sex in your life, working on the relationship that you have with yourself is the first priority. This should be one of the most important relationship for you — loving yourself. Once you’re good with that, you’re congruent, you’re grounded in that, then the relationship with your partner becomes that much easier. So that’s another myth that’s busted. Join me next time when we take on some more myths.

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